Christmas

A lot has happened since my last post, though at the same time not so much. Christmas came and went. It was good, great even, but somehow didn't feel 100% like Christmas. This is mostly due to the fact that I had to work on Christmas eve, and the day after (boxing day). Which makes it just not quite as relaxing. Also, it was my first Christmas as many of you know away from the states, away from my parent's. I think it bothered me more, the thought of them there opening presents and missing a piece of the equation than me being here without them. Alex made it amazing, we had a great sleep in, got up and opened presents (to follow my tradition, where I made piles of our presents, and opened them one by one) and had an amazing breakfast... smoked salmon, peeled cucumber, creme fresh, lemon juice and a dash up of pepper. we then ate it on some bread. We also had toast, with butter and strawberry and champagne jam and honey! Ah! Going back to presents... I gave Alex a cardigan, a book (Where's Wally), a Moka coffee/espresso machine, lots of chocolates, some big football socks and I think that is about it. We set a low budget, as we don't have much to spend. He got me a wonderful panda (there is a long story behind this stuffed animal, but the short of it is that the Adelaide zoo has adorable panda's Wang Wang and Funi. And, this line of stuffed animals I am extremely fond of.) a wonderful bowl from Anthropologie, chocolates, a box of kraft mac and cheese, a Dr. Pepper zero (they don't have diet here), a tea defuser and a wonderful card from Oxfam with a donation that meant a family in Africa somewhere gets a dinner! It had a photo of the cutest little boys, I wanted so badly to have them to eat our meal with us, I am so glad that they were able to enjoy good food too! I really hope to go to Africa soon and give them some love, maybe at an orphanage. Though that might be quite a bit of trouble, I am sure I would have a very difficult time not coming back with a child! I love that we, though we feel the pressure of having tight money, were able to help someone else! That is a feeling that cannot be beat! 

After our wonderful breakfast we relaxed, snacked and showered before being picked up by paul which is an extended member of Alex's family. We went to he and Alison's house for Christmas dinner. It was great. We took their dog on a walk in the park which was really nice. We then came home to relax more, I think I took a nap, read some (We also were mailed a gift from Kacey and Alexei, our friends in Colorado, which was a wonderful Colorado koozie and a great book... or great random facts!). All in all, it was a wonderful, wonderful day!  

a day at home...

I have had the day off, and would have to say, it has been the closest to a day off I had in Springfield. We started off with a wonderful sleep in, until my phone rang (a very rare occasion) nothing exciting, virgin, our media company calling about an email I sent. Though we did get it figured out, which of course was nice. Followed by tiding up, as I went to put in my contacts I discovered my right eye was irritated and red. I kept feeling like there was something in there yesterday, but could never find anything. I was wearing my rabbit fur gillet which sheds everywhere, and I am afraid a piece of the hair got in my eye and irritated it. Alex claims it is the rabbit taking revenge from the grave. :( After the discovery we decided it was best to wear my glasses for the day and continue relaxing, and going to the grocery store to do a bit of shopping. The store, was chaos and you could feel the Christmas panic was in full blast. We came home to do laundry, enjoy e! news (well, I did at least) and then on to a snack, a nap, some present wrapping, painting, cooking, skyping and magazine reading. Alex's phone rang several times today too, it was really quite odd to hear that noise around our flat. But it was great, his were job interviews and appointments! We're now watching a movie, and cooking dinner, to be followed by brownies... that I still need to make! Here we have our brownies, pies, etc with this cream (we usually get the double thick cream) it is like in place of ice cream. We made homemade brownies tonight and they were.... AMAZING! Kicked the box mixes out of the water! So, so good! Here is the recipe if anyone wants to give it a shot! http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2004/jun/13/foodanddrink.shopping2 . We ended the evening with a movie, a bit of painting, and of course more relaxing! What a wonderful, relaxing day! Hope you all have one soon too!

Londonian...

As we are headed up to Christmas and I am bombarded with multiple versions of "Rudolph," and, "All I want for Christmas," along with some not so traditional tunes, like "Alien for Christmas." Heathrow has been shut down for days and tube lines are experiencing major delays due to "adverse weather conditions" It really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas! There is snow on the ground, advent calender is hung, our Christmas tree is up, presents are wrapped below and one stockings are hung with care! Last night I went to a Christmas party at Cordings, my first place of work. Someone asked me if I was starting to feel more at home, and feel more like a local. I do at times, the times when I want to shout at the people to get to the right or start to the walk on the escalator, to get out of my way, because apparently unlike them who could care less about their time, I have someone to get home to and am ready to be off the crazy street with people randomly stopping, bumping all around with their unnecessary umbrella's! I feel like a local when I know my way around (not so much when I don't) or when I go to the non "tourist trap" locations. going to the grocery store makes you realize a few of the differences in the countries. I have noticed, in the US there are in a way, a lot more options, of mostly processed foods. Here, at least in my experience, there is not a huge selection of these processed foods, but quite the variety of fruits, vegetables, and freshly made breads and treats. So, overall I would choose our markets here, though at times I do miss the 50 options of chocolate chips and such! I truly feel like I am starting to have my bearings. I know in's and out's of the city, maybe local things going on. I still miss friends and the familiar items from the states, but I am proud to say I am becoming a "local" it also helps that everyone is from somewhere else, for the most part at least. At work, there are people from literally, everywhere, which makes me not feel like such an outsider. We now have "our" indian place, it's in White Chapel, and we've been twice, but it is wonderful! We have our main street, our running paths, our grocery store, book store, art store and random shops and streets to walk along. I am getting the hang of council tax, national health care and the heating systems. All in all, I am proud to announce that not only is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but it is beginning to feel a lot like home! I cannot wait for people to come visit, so we can show them around "our" London! I am becoming a true "Londonian" (it's ok if this is not a real word, and doesn't make sense to anyone, but it will to Alise! :) ).

Sunshine through the clouds

It has been a bit of an exceptionally difficult day. I am not totally sure why, but the water works have been off and on all day. I've missed friends, family, traditions and of course Alex (he's been at work all day, and now is at their Christmas party). I knew this time would come, but then began to doubt it once it hadn't. Though I should have known it would be something I had to deal with on my own, it feels like a grieving process of sorts. I am morning the loss of change I guess, I am happy, things are great, but it's just like a bit of loss, a loss of my old self, a loss of closeness to friends and family and a loss of annual traditions. So many things are the best they could be, I am in a wonderful relationship, I have a decent job (not my dream job, but none the less, an amazing job, and I feel comfortable in my own skin, I feel good, like really good!). It may sound crazy to many people, but I do feel like it is just something that I have to go through, something to process, something normal. There are several things of comfort I have turned to... some good, some that some people would consider not so good. The good, being things like Friends, it's on t.v. constantly here, comfortable clothes, my favorite stuffed animal, comforting food and drink, etc... The not so good are those things that are like emotional cutting or something, listening to a song my dad sang to me when I was little, looking through photos of those that I miss at home. I even went so far as to look at the Kansas City Plaza Christmas lights online. I know, I know. Alex would at least tell me I shouldn't do this, and probably get a bit upset with me...but... it's me. It has made me feel more able to stand a bit more on my own though, I have been quite productive today and enjoyed myself quite a bit. I went for another run, and got lost again (I have a horrible sense of direction). I wrapped Christmas presents and organized, cleaned, cooked and more. As most of you know, I love looking a baby stuff, so I have found a new website that makes me smile! http://www.idreamelephants.com/index.jsp , be sure to check it out! (No, we aren't expecting!) Again, just me! Not a lot else to share, I am ready to get settled in London, to pay off a few bills, so we can buy a house, get a dog (Baxter) and then plan on expanding our family someday. I can't wait for some visitors so that I can show people around our area. I am starting to feel more and more like a "local" mostly when I find myself getting annoyed with tourists! I have great news that I get two weeks off between now and the end of February. So, if anyone can come visit in that time, let me know! It would be great, I have looked into a flight to the states for a few days, but it's not really in the budget for the time. I get a lot of holiday time though, so I will have other opportunities to go to the US, Australia (very soon hopefully) and able to entertain visitors a bit more! So, though it has been a bit of a rainy day in my life (figuratively, not literally actually) there is a ray of sunshine coming through, and hopefully now that I am over this hurdle of dealing with this change on my own, it won't come back... I'll cross my fingers anyway! :) Love and miss you all!

Waking up from a dream...

You know those moments, when you are suddenly, without notice, jerked abruptly into reality. Sometimes it is good, sometimes bad. (Fortunately in my life it has usually been good!) That moment of realization that you are in the hear and now and this is really happening and really your life. It's your life you are in, not an imagination or a dream or anything else other than simply... your reality.

I had one of these moments today, it came, of course without warning. I was standing in the front of our store,  looking out at the chaos and cold of Regent Street, the people bustling by. In that moment there was a flash of realization. This is me, and this is my life. London is now my home and I am a local, not a tourist. What a weird feeling. Exciting, invigorating, energizing to realize that one of my dreams, something I never thought would happen, never thought possible, had become my life. Not only that, but I often find myself nearly pinching to make sure it is not a dream when I think about it all, when I wake up next to the amazing man I am privileged to call my husband, my best friend and my partner in crime. (ok, no real crime, but in all things fun I guess). I am sure it sounds weird, but there were several nights, especially once we had moved into our flat here in London, the first place and time that we were just us, that we had our space and it was all about us being a team, compromise, etc... that I would have these horrible nightmares that I had made some horrible mistake in life, was with someone else (usually I have no clue who this is, it is just a relationship that I am not happy in, and have settled in life) and I am in a panic, what did I do, why did I make this horrible decision! Then... I wake up, realize who it is laying next to me and am washed over with joy and peace of mind. It is at these times that I snuggle even closer to Alex, if that is possible at times. 

Anyway, I love my life, I love my husband and I love that he makes me fearless to face the world. I know that we could not be where we are in life without the love and support of so many others. I am glad this is not a dream, that it is really my life. 

Things are looking up...

Things have been getting better and better recently, sorry for seeming to report blogs more often when I am upset bout something or what not. So, I will do my best to report all these good times too! I am really enjoying my new job, it is nice to feel busy and of course, my favorite time of the day is to come home! I have been fortunate enough to be greeted thus far by Alex every time. It will probably remain the same, but he beings work on Tuesday, which is such a blessing. And I actually have Tuesday off... I am not going to know what to do with myself! I have several ideas, but it is just going to be weird. Being alone in London... let alone a day alone all together. It has been quite a while since I have dealt with that, 5 months at least. (As I realize today is our 4 month anniversary!) I will do my best to report what my happenings end up being on Tuesday. Other good news to report, we've found the best salt and vinegar chips ever... and they are only a pound, I guess this is good and bad... since it makes us really want to eat them! We have our Christmas tree up, one very small present underneath so far, and then we are currently sitting on another wonderful Christmas present from my in-laws, a new, larger, much improved couch! It has made such a difference. The flat feels so much more inviting and comfortable! When you move the back cushions it is the size of a twin bed! Perfect for anyone wanting to visit! :) Skype has made the distance between us and our loved ones much smaller, which has made a big difference. I am really starting to get my grounding and know my way around central London (just a bit more). But it is good... I realized on my way home tonight that I know where 4 tube stations are in central London, and where the three are closest to the flat. We have also given in and begun to use the heaters a bit more. It has made a huge difference also! It is really beginning to feel like home. We have a laugh at one of the places across the street... a Thai massage place, which is open all hours of the day. It for example.... it is 10:30 on a Sunday... a SUNDAY at 10:30... and it is still open! We think they must live there... but still, I mean who are you kidding, who's booking a massage at 10:30 on a Sunday. I would suspect them of something else maybe not so legal, but it looks really nice from the outside at least. I hate to think they are up to something dirty. We have found Kraft Macaroni and cheese at a near by corner shop. That is one area where I have not been suffering at all... Alex continues to cook amazing food and manages to do it quite cheaply! You would have no idea though, it is absolutely amazing! ymm.... Thankfully, I walk quite a bit, and am in the process of looking for a yoga ball and some weights so I can keep in shape inside, and am planning to map out a few running paths, and considering a run in March or April... but we'll see. Anyway, I hope everyone reading is doing well and I would love to hear any news! Miss you all!

random thoughts

The past few days have been a bit rough... a lot has happened. I have accepted a new job and resigned from my current. I have dealt with over zealous co-workers, crazy customers, lost my favorite earring, found my favorite earring. Had my first experience with the national health care system... which at first went horrible, though after the redemption of the manager, went wonderful. Celebrated yet another holiday away from the states, this one even less recognized than Halloween. My thoughts have been all over the place, and I have thought of so many things to share with everyone. Though at the moment they seem to escape me outside of random bits and pieces. So, I guess I will share some of them.

- Buskers, they are the people who sit and play music or sing for donation instead of simply begging. Did you know that to preform at the tube stops they must apply for these positions. I was amazed by this. They are quite good though, so that does make sense. I love it when they are there. It makes everything seem so much more... welcoming, not as cold.

-We have put up our Christmas tree... it is small, doesn't take up much space, and is really all we need. It is decorated with lights purchased from the home and garden store down the road, one strand from b&g. And ornaments that made the trip from Missouri. I managed to fit quite a bit in our luggage, and knew that these small reminders of comfort would come in very handy. I like to think I have outgrown the small homesick girl that I once was, but who am I kidding. It is made much easier with Alex, but there are still a lot of tough times. There at the top, front of the tree is the sacred Texas ornament so often  debated about between my father and I. :)

- I can see my breath as I type this. It is cold! I never realized how much I appreciated central heat (and air... but for me more heat), I find my fingers and toes turning white more and more, be it at home or work. We have a few heaters we cold plug in more, but then it drains through the money for electricity much faster. We light candles, bundle up in layers and sit with blankets on. Here they have hot water bottles instead of heating pads or such, so I am considering getting one of them. Though I think we may begin to resort to the heaters soon.

-For some reason, I always had this idea that I wanted to know what it was like to have to really watch my money. Not just a bit, but where it really mattered. To have to choose between food and the month's issue of vogue. Silly I know, but it was something I saw as a positive, something to really make you learn and grow. There are so many songs, television shows and movies after it, I wanted to know what it might be like. And when you don't have to, no matter how strict or tight you try to be with your money, I have now learned it is simply not the same, because it doesn't have to be. I now have realized, it is true, it does make you learn and grow a lot. I appreciate parent's now more than ever, for providing money (when the decision was between food for a few days, or our phones being cut off) and so much more. In my little dream scenario I was never married so of course my decision always went to vogue. I saw me curled up eating roman noodles or something random like my meals of pickles, cheesy noodles and frozen peas. when you have someone else in your life, someone else to consider and someone you put before yourself.... vogue goes out the window.

- It is the random things that I find myself missing, and it comes without much warning at all. On the way home tonight I felt the extreme desperation for a route 44 diet Dr. pepper from sonic.... or a diet Dr.. pepper period for that matter. I miss the warmth of being able to run around my apartment in shorts and a t-shirt, my exercise ball and the comfort of all things clean and welcoming. I miss Nakato and walking into somewhere that you are known. Having a place to go buy all the things I needed, even if it was in Kansas City, St. Louis, Dallas or some other more distant location. I miss being able to pick up my phone and call a friend, a parent, anyone. I miss not depending on the tubes... (which are on a 24 hour strike starting tonight at 6:30 pm) though, I am so glad I don't have to deal with car issues, re-payments, de-icing and the like. I miss black Friday and all of the chaos and fun that it was.

I will leave with this as I am exhausted, cold and a bit home sick once again, tomorrow I am sure will turn for the better, and I will remember again why it is I love London so. If not tomorrow, I know it will on Tuesday when I get the day off again with Alex to enjoy this wonderful city we now call home.

The next station is...

These have become the words of my day, I hear them... usually 10 times, sometimes more as you can see by last weeks post on my extreme tube experience. The next station is... I go through let's see.. on the way home (the most important part) leave from Green park (which is one of my favorite parks in London), on to Bond street, here you can change for the central line, then to Baker street also with changes to Metropolitan line, Central, Bakerloo, and Hammersmith and City. Next I approach, St. Johns wood, no changes of other lines here, and onto Swiss Cottage, also no changes to be had here. I then approach MY station, I have began to take ownership of it, yes.. which is the wonderful... Finchley Road, where you can also change for the Metropolitan line. I see this as both a negative and positive, on weekends like last when they were doing work on my Jubilee line... I have the option to use Metropolitan, but an other time, I dislike this fact... I want when I am getting on the tube for everyone to know that this wonderful area is what I call my home, I am not transferring, I am HOME! It is a marvelous area, the best in my opinion. Silly, I know, why does it matter but, it is something I think of. Most people read in the tube, if you are lucky at the time, you may get a seat, making it easier to take part in this tube transport ritual, not everyone though, some people sleep, talk, mess around on their phone or just stare off into space. I find myself reading, or "people watching."  Most people do everything within their ability not to make eye contact, I have decided that it is because they don't expect anyone to reciprocate. I find it quite fun when you do though. It has been a bit random, their was the Arabic girl, who seemed a bit surprised when I gave her a smile, she was really sweet, very friendly, you could just kind of tell, she wanted to talk. Then there are the random smiles, glances, people surprised to see that I am not yet tough and calloused to the rituals of the "big city." There was the man last night, he was older, and had a good laugh with me across the tube of the man near us who didn't know how to get his groundings, he acted so secure and confidant, but then the train started up and he stood no hope. It was good for a nice laugh.

Tubes... they are an interesting thing, I have begun to see them as these announcements, these, "the next station is..." and other random announcements concerning delays, which are daily and where to change trains along with closings for this reason and that. Then there are the news stories, they aren't always on the news though. There are the suicides and the "accidental deaths." It never occurred to me how many people there were or how non-big of a deal they made it. The other day, they closed Bond street station for an hour, this was because of an electrical explosion at foot locker that is right by it. Though, while purchasing our bowls (no, we didn't have bowls until 2 days ago, we ate cereal out of wonderful plastic Eskimo Joe's cups sent with us from the Chaloner's! I hear them talking about the close at Bond and a woman's speculation that there was another suicide and a body on the tracks, the  associate said she was sure it was not that, she herself had been on the train when there was a body on the tracks, and they did not stop the train, let alone close the station. I believe this because last week there was a body found early in the morning on a track, and it only caused a very minor delay. It is so sad to me to think that these people's lives, these people who have so many who care about them, and are the world to people, their lives have been reduced to minor delays on a tube line during a morning commute.  I am doing my best not to become accustomed to these incidences and turn into one of the commuters refusing to give a smile to my neighbor on the tube, or directions to the tourist who is lost.

Snow and Reindeer eaters....

So, last night we were "invited" to the Christmas lights switch-on at the Burlington Arcade. It was strictly invitation and RSVP only, there were people at the doors, with the lists and the whole nine yards, and somehow I managed to get invitations from work. Everyone else there seemed to think it wasn't worth their time but Alex and I decided to give it a try... help us get in the Christmas spirit, attend an event, and it was hosted by Helena Bonham Carter (for those of you whom might not know... like myself until 2 weeks ago, she is an actress, specifically Bellatrix Lastrange in the Harry Potter series.) I did not see her as I was later getting there from work, Alex is proud to say they made eye contact! ha ha but we were there at the same time, she however was just surrounded by a swarm of people. I was more interested in the free adult beverages and canapes. After leaving we decided to venture down Bond street because it was also the night of their lighting ceremony. Upon turning the corner to walk down this wonderful street we were greeted with one of the most amazing sights... SNOW!!! OK, not real snow, but a dozen or so snow machines. It looked identical falling from the sky (Top story windows) and it was magical! Though, on the ground... it looked a bit more like soapy foam gone wrong, so, we kept our focus up! There were several ice sculptures, my favorite was of a Gucci handbag outside the store, and another of a large diamond, i believe it was outside of Tiffany's but I am not sure. As we strolled through the wonder and excitement of newly decorated shops to boast their excitement of the Holiday season, Alex spotted a (petting zoo, with a cow) well, this is what he claims to me at first, upon further examination, it was reindeer, not for petting, but to see (though Alex and I did have a decent debate over one of them being a "cow" ... I was right, only reindeer). As we look upon these wonderful little creatures that share in Christmas tales of wonder and delight to children (and adults) across the world, a man comes up to stand next to me and for some unknown reason decides to talk to Alex, myself and one of the people working the exhibition. His claim... "They taste really good!" ugh, my face must have said it all, I am not a vegetarian but as most people know, I do have quite a bit of difficulty  thinking of the process, thinking of eating the animals, and seeing the bones and bits of it. Then this man proceeds to tell us about how wonderful it is and so on... We all gave him the awkward laugh in response and didn't really want to say. He finally fessed up and said he was vegetarian, a huge wave of relief washed over me and I am sure I showed it. He then stepped up saying, "Ya, a secondary vegetarian, I get vegetables and feed it to the animals.. then eat them, and these reindeer are amazing!" Ugh, I was left speechless... he walked away, and so did we, I am pretty sure I said something out loud about not liking that man. Though I don't mind much if he heard me. But, at the end of the night, it was a wonderful fun and magic filled evening.

Familiar faces...

It was often that I would run into someone I new in Springfield, Branson, or even Kansas city but not so much here in London. I probably know a total of 20 people here and that is including Alex, family, a handful of friends and people I work with. Though I barely know anyone, I often see people I know. Ok, not literally, but it is an average of at least once a day or more that I see a bit of someone I know in someone else. It might be a smile, or look, maybe a bit of someone's style or their mannerisms. There are also the people that look like people I know, or that may be mistaken for them. The ones that really get me are ones that I have lost a bit of connection with, people that might not know I am living here and I might not know of their whereabouts. For a moment in time I get a slight glimmer of hope in a familiar face. Maybe it is some long lost friend... only to be disappointed upon doing a double take and realizing that it is not. Though it is not a lost friend or acquaintance these people still do bring me comfort, they are somehow a bit more welcoming, make the journey on the tube past loads of random people whom don't give you the time of day or could care less about your life. Though I am sure these people don't notice me or care about me in the slightest, I appreciate them. I appreciate them for reminding me of old friends and bringing a bit of familiarity to an otherwise unfamiliar world.

At home...

We are all moved in, and... finally have Internet and TV at home! So, Expect updates and posts much, much more often! We live in Hampstead, which is WONDERFUL!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hampstead , check it out! And, about a 10-15 minute walk from our flat is Hampstead heath... which is so great, because it feels like you are removed from the chaos and crazy bits of central London! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hampstead_Heath

We took a few photos the other day that I plan to load later today to show what our London is like! It is so different than being here on holiday! I see everything in such a different perspective than I did when I was here visiting and the novelty in things such as riding the tube, the taxi's, the buses etc are all somehow not as... glamorous! Take last night for example... my tube ride is usually 12 minutes, (yes, i have timed it!) though on the weekends, they like to shut down lines to do "work" so, i succeeded in planning a route to get to work which worked very well. Then, on the way home, I walk so confidently over to Piccadilly circus station, through the crowds of people, only to be shouted at and met with closing gates, that they were not allowing admittance at the time. (I later learned due to over crowding). So, I headed toward my usual station, green park. Determined an alternate route form there, with several transfers and waited only to be packed like a sardine, breaking all personal space barriers and basically snuggle with other tube patrons. They announce about every three minutes all the lines that are closed, all the places they won't be stopping, etc. One of these being no stopping at Piccadilly due to the overcrowding. So, I finally make it to my first destination to switch... a station I had never been too, Hammersmith, where you have to leave the station, walk across the street and enter another to get to the line I wanted to take. At this point I called Alex to let him know I was on my way, since I should have been home 30 minutes before. (This is at about an hour into my attempted journey home). I then board a train, wait about 5 minutes for it to depart and then go for a while, I was intended to go to baker street! But... then we stop, and sit, they continued to announce something about how the train would only be going to a certain spot, that it wasn't running past it (for repairs of course) then I realize, (it took me a while because a ton of other people stayed sitting) that the train would take me all but one stop short of baker. There are so many different accents and some are very strong, so when the middle eastern man had continued to say that the train wouldn't be running I could only make out the second stop, and was unable to realize that we wouldn't be making it to baker street. At this point, I leave the train, find an attendant and try to hold back the tears, I was getting so frustrated and was tempted to just walk the rest of the way! He gave me direction to catch the bus to baker street (no cash on me, he said they would let me on because of my Oyster card and the tube troubles) he asked where I was from and I said Hampstead. He kind of laughed and said, no, where in America! haha he had not been to Missouri or Texas though, but he was quite nice. I made my way to the bus stop, and decide I might as well try to walk, there were so many people waiting, i begin my trek and realize I am now on 15% IPhone battery and walking in the wrong direction (IPhone gps is not the best). So, I go back to wait, I managed to help some French guys find their way, which I was quite proud of. I climb on the bus, again far to close to everyone and wait for baker street to come. Needless to say, I managed to make my way home... 2 hours later, but home! Which was wonderful! It was made all the better to come home to TV, Internet, and a wonderful husband ready to make whatever my heart desired for dinner. He suggested a stir fry so we tried something new and he made a wonderful Chinese noodle style stir fry! I am getting hungry just thinking about it! I was able to skype with my wonderful friend Lauren last night and my parent's this morning! Which made such a difference! It really is beginning to feel like home! I will post some photos and give information about work and other thoughts soon, maybe in a few hours! And, we have our address, so anyone wanting to send a letter or anything, e-mail me and I would be happy to give it to you! Love and miss you all!

Holidays in a foreign land

One thing I have realized is that though I am obviously not living in Springfield any more, many bits don’t feel much different. I am not all too sure that it has fully sunk in that this is home, it still does maybe feel a bit like a vacation. There are some things I thought I would miss greatly and others that I didn’t think I would notice much. The odd thing of it all has been that if anything, my expectations as to which things would land in which category has practically fully switched. For example one such thing would be Halloween, I wasn’t massive by any means when living at home, my celebration of the holiday consisted of choosing the perfect pumpkin and creating a jack-o-lantern to decorate along with other festive decorations, so in retrospect I guess I was moderately active in the Halloween celebration. I was not however the type to dress up (not at all let alone provocatively like so many girls my age would) and go to the local pub-crawls or trick-or-treating. To many regards I didn’t like the holiday because it reminded me of loss, being that several people I knew had lost their battles with cancer mere days before this holiday and thus I was reminded me of them each year in conjunction with the holiday. So, my point to this being, I didn’t think I would miss this holiday much, but I am surprised by how much it has hit me. I think possibly because there is so little excitement around it here, and I guess, I simply miss that hype and excitement. I fear the same may prove it’s self true with Thanksgiving, a holiday that at home I disliked more than liked. I hated the food when so many people treasured. If anything at home I was more of a Scrooge of Thanksgiving.  There were many a Thanksgiving where I sat out the holiday festivities, I would spend the day at home alone, enjoying a day of TV marathons and full relaxation, eating the foods I liked, not all the turkey, stuffing, cranberry crap that everyone loved. I often felt as though too much of the focus was around food, I saw it as such a gluttonous celebration. I may have gone so far as to give a speech in my senior year at college in anthropology of this matter exactly; I recall many of those in my class giving me a glare of insanity as if I was somehow not American. Though there are a few things I absolutely love about the holiday, 1. The turkey trot, 2. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, & 3. Black Friday.  For anyone who does not know of these “Amy” traditions, the turkey trot is the annual 5k on the morning of Thanksgiving, it is usually cold, there are tons of people many dressed up as turkeys or Indians, and it is nothing short of fun! Then there is the best parade on earth (in my opinion, the wonderful Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, and huge balloons flowing through the streets of New York City. And last but not least, is “black Friday” as I am sure many people love it because of the wonderful deals they get when shopping, I love it because I am the person working. We would go into work in the wee hours of the morning, usually around 4am, and open the doors as soon as we could, usually 4:30, the energy, the excitement, the pure thrill of the official beginning of the Christmas shopping, there is really nothing like it! So, with saying this, I am afraid that I may miss Thanksgiving more than I have anticipated. Though, my wonderful husband has agreed to get up on the morning (assuming we are both off work, if not, another morning) and run 3.1 miles with me, and if I am not at work, I will hope I might be able to find the parade on the television. I am not yet sure if a day of such chaos exists comparable to “black Friday” but I do know, many places are placing holiday windows and decorations out as I type this. I am excited to see which holidays they may celebrate here with more excitement and grandeur than we did in the states, or holidays that we may not have even known. We did carve wonderful jack-o-lanterns and I know that my non-American husband will do everything in his power to help me feel more at home in this country that neither of us are custom to.

day fillers

It seems as though the past few days have been filled with random comings and goings. Not totally random I guess, productive in all but a bit scattered. I guess I feel a bit like Alex and I both, together are like stay at home spouses or something. This is probably due to my inexperience in the unemployment world. Take today for example... our big outing was to Ikea, don't get me wrong, ikea is far from nothing, it is everything bit of wonderful but, that was our thing for the day. It just seems a bit silly, i am sure it wouldn't if the day before hadn't been.... "bank day" and the day before "walk around and find somewhere to live day", Sunday was "horse riding and dog walking" and Saturday was "watford mall/ high street" don't get me wrong, the days before these, Wednesday-Friday were very busy passing out our CV and searching high and low for employment, they were very exhausting, and then before that, well it would have been "ocean liner" time. I guess I am just not used to not having some form more of a schedule or productivity to my life. Since the age of 5 I was in school, sometimes summer school for the enjoyment of learning (I know, I know, I'm a nerd) and then on to high school with work in the summer or a busy social calender to keep me more than occupied, then to University with a full coarse load and working one or two jobs. After that graduate school and on to full time work with a part time job on the side most of the time. So, this, is why I am realizing the past few weeks have been so paranormal to me. I feel at a bit of a loss. I am sure I would enjoy this little psycho-social experiment of seeing how someone copes when their life is altered in more ways than one for the first time since the age of 5 (which might I add, I was in pre-school for a bit before that age!) if like so many stay at home mothers, at least in my eyes, had funds to go shopping and buy wonderful beautiful things, or maybe go the spa for a massage and pampering. Though, as it stands now, I am very excited and hopeful to join the wonderful work force once again!

Give it a little time...

That's what Alex has said to me multiple times now, and I know how true it is, but sometimes it is just so hard. Give it a little time and it will start to feel like home, I'll start to know my way around, and make some friends. It gets really hard sometimes though, I miss my home,  and my friends! We've made an offer which was accepted for a flat and are in some of the logistical stuff before we sign a contract for our 6 month lease. I am excited, but it somehow makes it so much more real. I keep saying this as though it's popped up as a surprise somehow, like I wasn't part of the extensive process of selling and packing and organizing, re-organizing and booking that it took to get us here. I was, but when it just hits me sometimes I feel as though I've woken up and been mysteriously plopped here. I know that without a doubt once we get in and give everything a extra cleaning (we bought some supplies tonight! :) ) and unpack our stuff, and give it our special touch it will have a charm that will draw me in as any other place I've lived in. Seeing my towel or measuring cups, tea towels or even lotion tucked away in my bag do put a smile on my face. I forget that they are here, that they are with me, that I haven't lost everything. They do seem slightly out of sight, out of mind. I am well aware that stuff is just stuff, though it often brings me great comfort. Some people have comfort food or comfort habits (smoking, drinking, whatever), or maybe it is a smell that makes them feel at home or ease. For me, I get that feeling a bit when I see items of clothing that I have. At the moment we still have about 6 "space" bags that I had packed to help consolidate on space. I have a few of them in the hallway for sanity sake with our room overflowing with suitcases and such. So these are the ones I pass by more often. And, I am glad I do. I see bits and pieces of items, never a whole, but I am instantly reminded of events surrounding where I got it, or where I've worn it. It sparks a sense of familiarity in a somewhat unfamiliar world. I see the dress I bought two years ago to wear as my Easter dress. I bought it while visiting my grandmother for the last time before she passed away. I remember showing it to her and the smile on her face, her pulling it closer to her to examine the fabric and tell me how pretty she thought I would be in it. She never saw me in it, didn't buy it for me and wasn't even there when we bought it at the store, but that dress, every time I see it, will forever remind me of my beloved Mamaw. There is the swim suit that I just had to have and searched high and low to get my hands on it, which wasn't even until the next season when it wasn't in circulation anymore.... talk about luck! And several others holding memories of smile and laughter, most of warmer weather since I decided I would not need to access them as quickly. I am looking forward to pulling each of my wonderful dress out of the suitcase storage and hanging them in my closet, and then, sad to say, but it will begin to feel much more like home!

cold, crying, and cramped

This is how I feel these days, well it really hasn't been all that long. But you know the times when a weeks seems like an eternity? This is one of those weeks. As anyone who knows me knows, I am cold, always. And, London decided to take a pretty drastic  temperature drop upon our arrival. Around the topic of temperature I am doing my best to acclimate myself around the Celsius scale, it is proving not too difficult. A trick taught to me by a friend (Mr. Cody Chaloner) is helping a great bit, take the Celsius temperature, double it and add 30, it doesn't get you spot on but at least gives you an idea. It does not help any that the house we are currently stay in is absolutely freezing, it is on some odd  system where the heat, including water heat, is only on for a few hours in the morning and a few in the evening... not quite my style. So, as i sit here I am in socks, leggings, t-shirt, sweater, zipped-up fleece, and Alex's new and very warm duffle coat! And, am still chilly! It looks like the kind Paddington bear wears and is adorable! He's running a bath for me, 3rd try for today for it to be hot enough, this is just ridiculous! I do not see how people live so cold, though I am sure, they are not consistently cold as I am! As for the crying, there is no telling when the tears are going to show up, today for example... They reared their ugly head in the middle of the kitchen department of a local department store. We were walking around, surveying the various home goods we might choose from to make our new flat our home (once we find one) when I felt tel welling up, and then boom, the explosion of lightly salted various particles of whatever makes up the water type droplets springing from tear ducts is made of. The thought of once having all of these little things, each and everyone of them, from the cutting boards, iron, blender, and such and simply not having them anymore. I already had it all, and loved them. But they all had to go, be it garage sale or various other avenues of giving away or selling, so now it was time to replace them all. As Alex pointed out, replacing it with things that were "ours" and doing it "together" and all of that, though it lessened the pain, it was one I did not expect to experience, since I had known it would be coming, and was a part of the getting rid of all the old stuff. It has given me a huge sympathy for those who have suffered from natural disasters or fires, these people have to go through a similar process, only much more drastic replacing usually everything, including their valued and prized clothing and any other things they hold precious to them. They do not get the luxury of picking and choosing which things to take with them and which to leave behind, and they don't get the choice of it at all. It just happens, with out warning. I feel very fortunate in these regards to have had the choice to being going through this still difficult process. As for the second crying offense today was when the Michael Buble song "Home" began playing without warning from a website. Though this song is so beautifully sung and I have no real desire to go "home" to the US right now, I have an overwhelming desire to simply feel, "at home" which I haven't for quite a long time, even before moving out of the apartment, I didn't feel at home... not really. When you're living in an altered state, out of suitcases, or staying with family then friends and back and forth, you just don't have a place to call yours, and that is the home I am dying to have again! I knew the song was out there, lurking around the corner, I remember it from previous travels, and when hearing it would just kind of create a soft spot in my heart. I even recall warning Alex, try to block that song from me some how, if it is even possible, block my computer for searching for it on you tube. I knew in a moment of weakness I would find it, I would find it and listen and cry. It would be a time when I am already upset and listen and cry more, I think I am a bit twisted in that, like when I am sad, I try to somehow make myself even more upset. Who knows, maybe it is some odd psychology that if I can get it all out now then I will be finished with it and not cry for a while, thought that never seems to work quite as planned. I will leave you with this, knowing that I am cramped here... for the time being not having that feeling of "home" and knowing that again for some reason I am playing that song while I type  to you, though I am proud to report... I am not crying!

be careful what you wish for

I was always told as a little girl to be careful what i wished for, along with many other things... some being reminded of the boy who cries wolf and not to make all those silly faces, or you may just stay that way. Though I, like most people never put much thought into it. That was until a few months ago. I had lived my life for several years wanting something amazing to come along. Something that was just it, and I was sure I would know when this "it" came along. And then "it" happened. Without warning or notice, my life went from the calm standard that it was in Springfield, Missouri to a whirl wind of adventure a moving that it is now. I would not go back and change anything, though, I now realize how true the statement is to be careful what you wish for. For anyone who might be a bit behind the curve of what is happening in these shoes at the moment. Here is a quick run down: Since April (all of this year) I have... ended a 4 year relationship, re-connected with a casual friend had a trip to Seattle, WA and fallen in love. I married the man of my dreams in August only after we also went on adventures to Dallas, New Orleans, Memphis and St. Louis. We moved out of the apartment we had been living in and quit my wonderful job as an assistant manager for Victoria's Secret. We moved out to my parent's house, went on a 2 1/2 week holiday to Colorado to visit some friends, ending it with a stop in Oklahoma for a few days to visit a few other friends. Finally getting my spousal visa approved, we booked ourselves onto the Queen Mary 2, an ocean liner to make the voyage to our new home in England. The ship was... interesting to say the least. We were the few non-pensioners aboard and most of the activities (IE walking, running, gym, pool and hot tub) ended at 8 pm! Though, we did get a lot of sleep and relaxation as well as some wonderful food. As well as an extremely large  amount of luggage across to our new home land. These bags were mostly made up of my clothes, some were Alex's but I have to own up to the fact that it was mostly mine. We also brought however, his bike, "George" I call him. Which of course took up it's deal of space. Upon arriving in England and our wonderful adventure northward toward London and on to trains, tubes and taxis we made it to Alex's great uncle Syd's house. Which, we are now staying at and commuting into London to look for work as well as living. We've been here since Tuesday the 19th of October and it has been a continuous roller coaster of events. From applying for jobs, to interviews, flat searches and the like. I have formed this blog to update all those who know me, as well as anyone who doesn't if it is of interest or assistance to them, to stay updated and connected with our happenings. Please feel free to leave comment and share what you may as I share how things are here in these shoes...