Santa and his friends... lying or imagination

As most people know, suddenly you become a parent, or pregnant for that matter and everyone and then some have unsolicited advice to give you. We've been told everything under the sun and then some, but have really stayed true to ourselves and our Henry, listening to his cues and what works the best for us as a family.

With Henry on a seemingly fast forward version of these childhood milestones I feel that he is understanding to some degree what we say, what we're talking about and his experiences. He will be one right before Christmas and thus begins talk of Santa, followed by the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and so on. I first thought about it while pregnant, and suddenly developed a feeling on these creatures that I hadn't put much thought into before. Essentially it feels like lying, I know it is "tradition" and fantasy, imagination, and the like, but I can't help but feel like its lying.

I remember when I first realised that Santa wasn't the wonderful old jolly man that I believed him to be providing me with many presents a year as I was such a good girl. We were at my Mama's apartment in Dallas, I got into position for the night to slip into sleep on the floor, as I lay there fighting sleep with excitement of what Santa would bring in the morning I hear my half brother say something to our Dad about going to bring the presents in from the car, my interest was perked and my mind could not believe what it was processing. My parents had been imposing for years as the jolly old man coming down the chimney, they were eating the cookies I had so carefully put out! Ah the deception! I soon concluded that they may just be the masterminds behind other such characters I had never met in person. I waited an entire year before revealing that I was onto them, I was terrified. What if they were upset with me for knowing, or I suddenly wouldn't get as many presents because now Santa wouldn't visit, my teeth might no longer hold value if a mythical fairy didn't need to sneak into my room while I slept and swap out cash for my tooth. It was the first truly awkward conversation I remember having with them, it was looking back the first time I truly felt separated from them.

It is for these reasons along with others that Alex and I are planning on not playing up the hype of these characters, we'll let him know who they are, what other people might be talking about but that they are for fun, made up and not to seriously worry about a chubby man coming into our house on Christmas Eve. Most people we've spoken to about it seem to not have put much thought into it and have simply followed the cultural norms of sharing these stories. Though that isn't quite our thing. People say how here crushing his imagination, though I'm not too worried about that, I have an imagination that is probably too active for my own good, and Alex isn't lacking in that department either. We speak in made up voices and dream up alternate worlds, Henry has a tee pee in the corner of his room to crawl into with books, toys or whatever and hide away from the greater world. We will travel, experience and dream and believe. But what I don't want is for him to feel separate from us, that we are hiding something from him or ever would, he is one of us, part of the team and along for the ride of this crazy life with us.

I'm interested to hear other peoples opinions on this, and if anyone has tried this with their children or been a child who was raised in this manor, and what experiences have been.

Aspen... alternate world

As we approach our second year of living in Aspen, I'm not sure it's become any more "normal." It truly is a bubble, one that warps your perspective of so much of the outside world.  What is a reasonable price to pay for anything? What does an "average" person look like, how does most of the world live? And, what's legal, what's not?

As I sit at this cafe drinking my coffee, the coffee shop just down from me has a double sided sign which reads: side 1: put some pep in your Prada wearing step. side 2: Coffee the second most preferred stimulant in Aspen. What is number 1 you might wonder.... cocaine. Not that it's legal here, but there is a blind eye turned to it, it is a glamorous drug after all. Not too many poor people adopt it as habit. We live in a state that has now made marijuana legal (which I fully agree with, make it legal, tax it and make a profit... people who are high are just getting fat, and being lazy, they aren't really hurting anyone). There are no open container laws, you can even have it on a bus, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who is overweight, poor, uneducated, much ethnicity (96.1% white as of 2012), or decently well travelled. The majority of the people here eat only organic, locally sourced food if not vegetarian or vegan, are democratic for the most part (during the last presidential election the republican headquarters was egged twice by young "unruly" locals). People don't lock their doors, tend to trust everyone, let their dogs roam free and party hard. We have festivals for everything, each season brings it's own annual traditions, it is truly the biggest small town you will find. Some how we have moved to some weird little blip in America.

It's all fine for a bit, though I don't want Henry growing up not knowing there is more out there, not knowing that there is pain and suffering, people who struggle to purchase food to feed their family, people of other colours and religions, different ways of thinking living and behaving. He has to see the absolute wonderful beauty in diversity and the differences in people. We plan to travel, and often if we do stay here well into his teenage years, push him to experience the broader world, and understand that all of this is not "normal."

We also live in a county that has alarmingly high suicide rates. It is often said that if you can't be happy here, you can' the happy anywhere. Though there is so much pressure here to be so much, and there truly is a great divide between the locals, the semi-locals and the visitors, even the visitors at different times of the year. Living here I know when the prices drop on the hotel stays, that is when people come to see Aspen, who couldn't afford to in the peak seasons. There are the semi-locals, where this is one of their 3,4,5 + houses. They often like to say they live here when you ask them, though most full time residents aren't as.. we'll say flashy or dismissive. Those who do live here year round, they are laid back, comfortable, as likely to show up to an event in head to toe yoga wear (likely lululemon) as they are in their Dior dress.

It is a truly unique area, evolving into a parody of it's self possibly to it's own detriment but only time will truly tell. Constantly trying to prove to no one other than the others here that it is something to be reckoned with.

the rest of our lives...

There are posts to come before this, but they haven't been finished... so it will just have to go in this order and my writing will have to come from the heart.

I have been on maternity leave, had friends in town and right when it was time to start back to work, my mom came to visit... she left today, and it is now time to begin "the rest of our lives." Now it is time to sort out how we will manage as a family all on our own, working, living and managing life. To say I am freaking out a bit, might be an understatement... to say I have absolutely no clue how it is all going to come together, but just have to trust my husband when he reassures me that it will is the truth. Many people out there do it, part of the problem in my mind is that my friends don't seem to, either they don't have kids, or they don't work, or for the lucky few (ok 1) she works from home/ road and in road I mean running, where she can take her little girl with her or set up "babysitting" for an hour or two.

I wouldn't change a thing for the world, I love Henry, I love Alex, I love the amazing beautiful place we live. It's amazing to have family in Australia and the US, maybe I would change that bit though, as it would be nice to have a parental "support" network here. People who would more than happily steal my smiley little boy away for the night to allow more date nights.

When I first started maternity leave, I wasn't sure how I would manage. We moved, I worked on setting up our house. Then of course our little man came along (a few days late) and we got to know each other while continuing to paint and make our house a home... and then there were the friends, visitors, mostly foreign. Then came my mom... and now, our "empty" house. I thought I would be so bored, that the time would drag. I've never been much for doing nothing, I like to be active and have stuff going on. I thought I would for sure go stir crazy, which I did a bit. The day we got home from the hospital I may have begged one of my friends to go out for a walk with me. I HAD to get outside, after being cooped up in the hospital for 2 whole days, that was more than enough! But friends filled the gaps, projects abounded and I ended up really enjoying the quality time with my little man.

We'll make it and never look back, I know... just some "teething issues" I'm sure... to begin... "the rest of our lives."

Travel.

Last night we watched Argo, which was absolutely amazing, if you haven't you need to, and soon! Tonight, we are watching Zero Dark Thirty, I know the result will be much the same. I will be much the same. I/ we will want to go, go to these amazing places, and be angry and disheartened that we can't go, or feel like we can't due to safety concerns for a while. This is something that has angered me about so many places for a while. Being a girl, blonde, American, I feel like such a target. I am sure this is a combination of parental concern given mostly by my father since before I can remember, my own paranoia and the general media. I have friends from so many of these countries that I feel this way about. Most of them men, all of the absolutely wonderful. They have done nothing but shown me Love. So why is it that I am still so fearful to go to these places? Are those from Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, India and several countries in Africa, that I know the nice ones, I have a hard time believing they are the only ones. Are they more western thinking or open to women and women's rights? Possibly, they do live outside of these countries now. Though I really think it is a lot of the media, the fear that is spread when one little thing happens in these areas, especially if it is to an American or a woman. All I know is that I am beyond thankful for my friends, each and everyone of them and how they have shown me love and how beautiful their cultures are. I know my desire to go to these places won't go away, I want to go everywhere, experience everything... I mean why wouldn't you. I just hope that I have the chance to go, experience and enjoy these cultures for what they are! And again, thank you to all of those who show love, and not fear, even if it is chanting USA at me, you know who you are! :)

ourliveslived

I have recently decided to change the blog a bit.... I want to share more of the things we love, the foods we cook and what makes up our lives. I've managed to set up twitter @ourliveslived, tumblr: ourliveslived@tumblr.com, Pinterest, and instagram... Wish me luck! :) I have two helpers on my side this adorable little guy, Baxter shown with me here on our trek across the Atlantic and the love of my life... Alex, shown here at one of our favorite pubs in London, The Spaniards Inn (http://www.thespaniardshampstead.co.uk ).  So, Keep an eye out for the happenings of our lives, let me know any thoughts, questions, really anything!

best,

Amy, Alex and Baxter
Ourliveslived

                          
                                                         

a visit

I don't think I have ever wanted to go... just be transported for a week or two so badly as I do now, to lovely jubly old London. If I could just wiggle my nose like Something from bewitched I would pop up in good ole London town... First I would probably stroll wherever I could find my friend Ilya, I know he would be on the adventure with me wherever I might go, We would then go to Twinings on the strand where I would hope to possibly surprise Natalia and visit Phil, Karen, Lucy, Mark and all of the wonderful people who are there, we could go to the sandwich shop around the corner, who's name escapes my memory.... i would choose tuna melt and it would of course be a sunny fabulous day where we would bask in the sun... I would go on to meet up with Karolina and Safina and tour whole foods kinsington, walk from there to Sloan street and buy baxter something from Mungo and Maud. Then we would go on to meet seriously every last person we love and adore at some shit but lovely up centrally, and hang out drink/ karaoke until we absolutely had to take a taxi home (Seema should know a great place). The next day Alex and I would some how make it to chili pepper jelly ( I can never get the name right) for  breakfast, take a walk through the book shop and waitrose along with all the corner shops then pop into blue legume for a little dessert, before popping into jacks to get some cider to take back to Niall and David's where I assume we are staying..... where everyone could once again meet on the roof top garden and we could party until the sun came up. I must stop by the art shop in covent garden, cos on regent st., liberty, greensmiths, fortnum and mason, and hattchards and bond street! and  another cocktail at the ritz and a run into cordings with ilya and see Chloe (whom I felt was my very first friend in London ever!) , churches on bond street.... make that everywhere on bond street, a mani - pedi with Desi wherever she recommends and whatever Lola says is the best new place in town. Catching up with Szabina and flat planet and Liberty with Kash, and trying to hold every list bit with me forever and ever until I can come back again......... I would do absolutely anything for this to be where I am going tomorrow... next week, anything... but I will wait, patiently, but I cannot wait to see you all again, so soon and soak up every last little bit of London that I can!

longing for a memory...

We have been here in Colorado for a few months now and are settling in well, we both have jobs and are making friends. The quality of life is amazing, there is little stress and so many of the things that we longed for in England. We can finally buy the appliances we want (I realise this sounds ridiculous, but it is a sign of settling.) I know that we made the right decision, I know that this is beyond right for us.  

Though there is still a bit of impossible longing somewhere deep inside. It isn't that we moved from the "big city" as so many people around here to think it is. There are very few places we would even consider living back in the US and the roaring fork valley won... we moved here because of exactly what it is. It is slow paced, and adventurous, it is active and cultural. It is the biggest small city ( I'm not even sure if it can be considered a city, it's really more of a town) that that I know. What it isn't and what it can't be... is simply put London. I was far from enjoying my every moment there and realise I look back on it with only the fondest memories. It was the first that was really my own, our own. It was where Alex and I began to make a life for ourselves and even added the best puppy ever to our family. We conquered it together, truly! 

London holds within it so much to me, things that cannot be explained. I miss the transport and the views, the cafes, the friends and how they are from all over the world! I miss the chaos and the calm, the passion and the apathy, roof top gardens and the parks... oh the parks be it sunbathing, picnicking, and drinking in them. I miss the culture of each borough and how individual and similar they all were. The beauty in the ordinary and the freedom to be. I miss being where all the magazines were focused on and what felt like the centre of the world. I miss Mo Farah and Paula Radcliffe, Fortnum and Mason, Liberty, and all that as there, all that was history. Oh, and I miss the ease of travel, the great sense of adventure with so many countries and continents all being so close. 

These along with many other things are what I miss and thus what I remember. I don't remember the bad, which I am glad. I do force myself to recall the troubles and trials to remember why we left and acknowledge decisions made. 

I miss London and cannot wait to go back and visit it along with all of our other favourite places but I am truly  happy for our decision to live here.