As most people know, suddenly you become a parent, or pregnant for that matter and everyone and then some have unsolicited advice to give you. We've been told everything under the sun and then some, but have really stayed true to ourselves and our Henry, listening to his cues and what works the best for us as a family.
With Henry on a seemingly fast forward version of these childhood milestones I feel that he is understanding to some degree what we say, what we're talking about and his experiences. He will be one right before Christmas and thus begins talk of Santa, followed by the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and so on. I first thought about it while pregnant, and suddenly developed a feeling on these creatures that I hadn't put much thought into before. Essentially it feels like lying, I know it is "tradition" and fantasy, imagination, and the like, but I can't help but feel like its lying.
I remember when I first realised that Santa wasn't the wonderful old jolly man that I believed him to be providing me with many presents a year as I was such a good girl. We were at my Mama's apartment in Dallas, I got into position for the night to slip into sleep on the floor, as I lay there fighting sleep with excitement of what Santa would bring in the morning I hear my half brother say something to our Dad about going to bring the presents in from the car, my interest was perked and my mind could not believe what it was processing. My parents had been imposing for years as the jolly old man coming down the chimney, they were eating the cookies I had so carefully put out! Ah the deception! I soon concluded that they may just be the masterminds behind other such characters I had never met in person. I waited an entire year before revealing that I was onto them, I was terrified. What if they were upset with me for knowing, or I suddenly wouldn't get as many presents because now Santa wouldn't visit, my teeth might no longer hold value if a mythical fairy didn't need to sneak into my room while I slept and swap out cash for my tooth. It was the first truly awkward conversation I remember having with them, it was looking back the first time I truly felt separated from them.
It is for these reasons along with others that Alex and I are planning on not playing up the hype of these characters, we'll let him know who they are, what other people might be talking about but that they are for fun, made up and not to seriously worry about a chubby man coming into our house on Christmas Eve. Most people we've spoken to about it seem to not have put much thought into it and have simply followed the cultural norms of sharing these stories. Though that isn't quite our thing. People say how here crushing his imagination, though I'm not too worried about that, I have an imagination that is probably too active for my own good, and Alex isn't lacking in that department either. We speak in made up voices and dream up alternate worlds, Henry has a tee pee in the corner of his room to crawl into with books, toys or whatever and hide away from the greater world. We will travel, experience and dream and believe. But what I don't want is for him to feel separate from us, that we are hiding something from him or ever would, he is one of us, part of the team and along for the ride of this crazy life with us.
I'm interested to hear other peoples opinions on this, and if anyone has tried this with their children or been a child who was raised in this manor, and what experiences have been.
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