A child in a grown up world

It amazes me how I have a "real" job, pay rent and live this grown up life of bills and responsibilities... and yet.... I feel like an absolute child so much of the time. These bumps (the doctor says it's an allergic reaction, of course it is, my stupid over sensitive skin), I have been given some prescription cream, but it isn't helping now and all I want to do is itch it, Alex the parent in the situation gets onto me and forces me to stop. And shocker, I don't want to! I want to scratch and itch until I can't possibly do it any longer, if it were up to me, the irresponsible child in the situation I would probably go until my skin gave way and I began to bleed.
I don't like it and it's not fair, but then... life is not fair I guess. In my full adult rational I have deducted shopping would help! Ah, if only! I have made my basket, and filled it up on the Internet... the items will sell, and go home to someone else's address, be wonderful surprises in their boxes and adorn their bodies on wonderful fun adventures.

I feel my natural coping mechanisms kicking in... mine, it is reversion! I want to cuddle up in a blanket, with a big bowl of ice cream and watch shows and movies from years ago, springing to mind are boy meets world and home improvement.

The difference in my mind is that as a child it is all harmless, it would be some silly little thing, I would be able to curl up and watch all the silly little shows I wanted to, my mom would bring me the bowls of ice cream and dad would make the best cinnamon toast the world has ever known. I would lay on the floor on a make shift pallet of the downstairs den and be pampered to my hearts desire. The reality of now, Alex also does not feel well, he has more of a cold which thank God I have not caught yet, the two together would be even more miserable. So, I still help cook, and clean, and take care of Baxter, the household responsibilities are still there and we don't have any ice cream... or enough blankets to make a pallet.

I hope that some day I am able to spoil my children the way I remember it, so the horrible times of coughs, itches, aches and all the pains that are unavoidable during a lifetime so the time passes by and what is left are the good memories of it.