Christmas

A lot has happened since my last post, though at the same time not so much. Christmas came and went. It was good, great even, but somehow didn't feel 100% like Christmas. This is mostly due to the fact that I had to work on Christmas eve, and the day after (boxing day). Which makes it just not quite as relaxing. Also, it was my first Christmas as many of you know away from the states, away from my parent's. I think it bothered me more, the thought of them there opening presents and missing a piece of the equation than me being here without them. Alex made it amazing, we had a great sleep in, got up and opened presents (to follow my tradition, where I made piles of our presents, and opened them one by one) and had an amazing breakfast... smoked salmon, peeled cucumber, creme fresh, lemon juice and a dash up of pepper. we then ate it on some bread. We also had toast, with butter and strawberry and champagne jam and honey! Ah! Going back to presents... I gave Alex a cardigan, a book (Where's Wally), a Moka coffee/espresso machine, lots of chocolates, some big football socks and I think that is about it. We set a low budget, as we don't have much to spend. He got me a wonderful panda (there is a long story behind this stuffed animal, but the short of it is that the Adelaide zoo has adorable panda's Wang Wang and Funi. And, this line of stuffed animals I am extremely fond of.) a wonderful bowl from Anthropologie, chocolates, a box of kraft mac and cheese, a Dr. Pepper zero (they don't have diet here), a tea defuser and a wonderful card from Oxfam with a donation that meant a family in Africa somewhere gets a dinner! It had a photo of the cutest little boys, I wanted so badly to have them to eat our meal with us, I am so glad that they were able to enjoy good food too! I really hope to go to Africa soon and give them some love, maybe at an orphanage. Though that might be quite a bit of trouble, I am sure I would have a very difficult time not coming back with a child! I love that we, though we feel the pressure of having tight money, were able to help someone else! That is a feeling that cannot be beat! 

After our wonderful breakfast we relaxed, snacked and showered before being picked up by paul which is an extended member of Alex's family. We went to he and Alison's house for Christmas dinner. It was great. We took their dog on a walk in the park which was really nice. We then came home to relax more, I think I took a nap, read some (We also were mailed a gift from Kacey and Alexei, our friends in Colorado, which was a wonderful Colorado koozie and a great book... or great random facts!). All in all, it was a wonderful, wonderful day!  

a day at home...

I have had the day off, and would have to say, it has been the closest to a day off I had in Springfield. We started off with a wonderful sleep in, until my phone rang (a very rare occasion) nothing exciting, virgin, our media company calling about an email I sent. Though we did get it figured out, which of course was nice. Followed by tiding up, as I went to put in my contacts I discovered my right eye was irritated and red. I kept feeling like there was something in there yesterday, but could never find anything. I was wearing my rabbit fur gillet which sheds everywhere, and I am afraid a piece of the hair got in my eye and irritated it. Alex claims it is the rabbit taking revenge from the grave. :( After the discovery we decided it was best to wear my glasses for the day and continue relaxing, and going to the grocery store to do a bit of shopping. The store, was chaos and you could feel the Christmas panic was in full blast. We came home to do laundry, enjoy e! news (well, I did at least) and then on to a snack, a nap, some present wrapping, painting, cooking, skyping and magazine reading. Alex's phone rang several times today too, it was really quite odd to hear that noise around our flat. But it was great, his were job interviews and appointments! We're now watching a movie, and cooking dinner, to be followed by brownies... that I still need to make! Here we have our brownies, pies, etc with this cream (we usually get the double thick cream) it is like in place of ice cream. We made homemade brownies tonight and they were.... AMAZING! Kicked the box mixes out of the water! So, so good! Here is the recipe if anyone wants to give it a shot! http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2004/jun/13/foodanddrink.shopping2 . We ended the evening with a movie, a bit of painting, and of course more relaxing! What a wonderful, relaxing day! Hope you all have one soon too!

Londonian...

As we are headed up to Christmas and I am bombarded with multiple versions of "Rudolph," and, "All I want for Christmas," along with some not so traditional tunes, like "Alien for Christmas." Heathrow has been shut down for days and tube lines are experiencing major delays due to "adverse weather conditions" It really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas! There is snow on the ground, advent calender is hung, our Christmas tree is up, presents are wrapped below and one stockings are hung with care! Last night I went to a Christmas party at Cordings, my first place of work. Someone asked me if I was starting to feel more at home, and feel more like a local. I do at times, the times when I want to shout at the people to get to the right or start to the walk on the escalator, to get out of my way, because apparently unlike them who could care less about their time, I have someone to get home to and am ready to be off the crazy street with people randomly stopping, bumping all around with their unnecessary umbrella's! I feel like a local when I know my way around (not so much when I don't) or when I go to the non "tourist trap" locations. going to the grocery store makes you realize a few of the differences in the countries. I have noticed, in the US there are in a way, a lot more options, of mostly processed foods. Here, at least in my experience, there is not a huge selection of these processed foods, but quite the variety of fruits, vegetables, and freshly made breads and treats. So, overall I would choose our markets here, though at times I do miss the 50 options of chocolate chips and such! I truly feel like I am starting to have my bearings. I know in's and out's of the city, maybe local things going on. I still miss friends and the familiar items from the states, but I am proud to say I am becoming a "local" it also helps that everyone is from somewhere else, for the most part at least. At work, there are people from literally, everywhere, which makes me not feel like such an outsider. We now have "our" indian place, it's in White Chapel, and we've been twice, but it is wonderful! We have our main street, our running paths, our grocery store, book store, art store and random shops and streets to walk along. I am getting the hang of council tax, national health care and the heating systems. All in all, I am proud to announce that not only is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but it is beginning to feel a lot like home! I cannot wait for people to come visit, so we can show them around "our" London! I am becoming a true "Londonian" (it's ok if this is not a real word, and doesn't make sense to anyone, but it will to Alise! :) ).

Sunshine through the clouds

It has been a bit of an exceptionally difficult day. I am not totally sure why, but the water works have been off and on all day. I've missed friends, family, traditions and of course Alex (he's been at work all day, and now is at their Christmas party). I knew this time would come, but then began to doubt it once it hadn't. Though I should have known it would be something I had to deal with on my own, it feels like a grieving process of sorts. I am morning the loss of change I guess, I am happy, things are great, but it's just like a bit of loss, a loss of my old self, a loss of closeness to friends and family and a loss of annual traditions. So many things are the best they could be, I am in a wonderful relationship, I have a decent job (not my dream job, but none the less, an amazing job, and I feel comfortable in my own skin, I feel good, like really good!). It may sound crazy to many people, but I do feel like it is just something that I have to go through, something to process, something normal. There are several things of comfort I have turned to... some good, some that some people would consider not so good. The good, being things like Friends, it's on t.v. constantly here, comfortable clothes, my favorite stuffed animal, comforting food and drink, etc... The not so good are those things that are like emotional cutting or something, listening to a song my dad sang to me when I was little, looking through photos of those that I miss at home. I even went so far as to look at the Kansas City Plaza Christmas lights online. I know, I know. Alex would at least tell me I shouldn't do this, and probably get a bit upset with me...but... it's me. It has made me feel more able to stand a bit more on my own though, I have been quite productive today and enjoyed myself quite a bit. I went for another run, and got lost again (I have a horrible sense of direction). I wrapped Christmas presents and organized, cleaned, cooked and more. As most of you know, I love looking a baby stuff, so I have found a new website that makes me smile! http://www.idreamelephants.com/index.jsp , be sure to check it out! (No, we aren't expecting!) Again, just me! Not a lot else to share, I am ready to get settled in London, to pay off a few bills, so we can buy a house, get a dog (Baxter) and then plan on expanding our family someday. I can't wait for some visitors so that I can show people around our area. I am starting to feel more and more like a "local" mostly when I find myself getting annoyed with tourists! I have great news that I get two weeks off between now and the end of February. So, if anyone can come visit in that time, let me know! It would be great, I have looked into a flight to the states for a few days, but it's not really in the budget for the time. I get a lot of holiday time though, so I will have other opportunities to go to the US, Australia (very soon hopefully) and able to entertain visitors a bit more! So, though it has been a bit of a rainy day in my life (figuratively, not literally actually) there is a ray of sunshine coming through, and hopefully now that I am over this hurdle of dealing with this change on my own, it won't come back... I'll cross my fingers anyway! :) Love and miss you all!

Waking up from a dream...

You know those moments, when you are suddenly, without notice, jerked abruptly into reality. Sometimes it is good, sometimes bad. (Fortunately in my life it has usually been good!) That moment of realization that you are in the hear and now and this is really happening and really your life. It's your life you are in, not an imagination or a dream or anything else other than simply... your reality.

I had one of these moments today, it came, of course without warning. I was standing in the front of our store,  looking out at the chaos and cold of Regent Street, the people bustling by. In that moment there was a flash of realization. This is me, and this is my life. London is now my home and I am a local, not a tourist. What a weird feeling. Exciting, invigorating, energizing to realize that one of my dreams, something I never thought would happen, never thought possible, had become my life. Not only that, but I often find myself nearly pinching to make sure it is not a dream when I think about it all, when I wake up next to the amazing man I am privileged to call my husband, my best friend and my partner in crime. (ok, no real crime, but in all things fun I guess). I am sure it sounds weird, but there were several nights, especially once we had moved into our flat here in London, the first place and time that we were just us, that we had our space and it was all about us being a team, compromise, etc... that I would have these horrible nightmares that I had made some horrible mistake in life, was with someone else (usually I have no clue who this is, it is just a relationship that I am not happy in, and have settled in life) and I am in a panic, what did I do, why did I make this horrible decision! Then... I wake up, realize who it is laying next to me and am washed over with joy and peace of mind. It is at these times that I snuggle even closer to Alex, if that is possible at times. 

Anyway, I love my life, I love my husband and I love that he makes me fearless to face the world. I know that we could not be where we are in life without the love and support of so many others. I am glad this is not a dream, that it is really my life. 

Things are looking up...

Things have been getting better and better recently, sorry for seeming to report blogs more often when I am upset bout something or what not. So, I will do my best to report all these good times too! I am really enjoying my new job, it is nice to feel busy and of course, my favorite time of the day is to come home! I have been fortunate enough to be greeted thus far by Alex every time. It will probably remain the same, but he beings work on Tuesday, which is such a blessing. And I actually have Tuesday off... I am not going to know what to do with myself! I have several ideas, but it is just going to be weird. Being alone in London... let alone a day alone all together. It has been quite a while since I have dealt with that, 5 months at least. (As I realize today is our 4 month anniversary!) I will do my best to report what my happenings end up being on Tuesday. Other good news to report, we've found the best salt and vinegar chips ever... and they are only a pound, I guess this is good and bad... since it makes us really want to eat them! We have our Christmas tree up, one very small present underneath so far, and then we are currently sitting on another wonderful Christmas present from my in-laws, a new, larger, much improved couch! It has made such a difference. The flat feels so much more inviting and comfortable! When you move the back cushions it is the size of a twin bed! Perfect for anyone wanting to visit! :) Skype has made the distance between us and our loved ones much smaller, which has made a big difference. I am really starting to get my grounding and know my way around central London (just a bit more). But it is good... I realized on my way home tonight that I know where 4 tube stations are in central London, and where the three are closest to the flat. We have also given in and begun to use the heaters a bit more. It has made a huge difference also! It is really beginning to feel like home. We have a laugh at one of the places across the street... a Thai massage place, which is open all hours of the day. It for example.... it is 10:30 on a Sunday... a SUNDAY at 10:30... and it is still open! We think they must live there... but still, I mean who are you kidding, who's booking a massage at 10:30 on a Sunday. I would suspect them of something else maybe not so legal, but it looks really nice from the outside at least. I hate to think they are up to something dirty. We have found Kraft Macaroni and cheese at a near by corner shop. That is one area where I have not been suffering at all... Alex continues to cook amazing food and manages to do it quite cheaply! You would have no idea though, it is absolutely amazing! ymm.... Thankfully, I walk quite a bit, and am in the process of looking for a yoga ball and some weights so I can keep in shape inside, and am planning to map out a few running paths, and considering a run in March or April... but we'll see. Anyway, I hope everyone reading is doing well and I would love to hear any news! Miss you all!