As most people know, suddenly you become a parent, or pregnant for that matter and everyone and then some have unsolicited advice to give you. We've been told everything under the sun and then some, but have really stayed true to ourselves and our Henry, listening to his cues and what works the best for us as a family.
With Henry on a seemingly fast forward version of these childhood milestones I feel that he is understanding to some degree what we say, what we're talking about and his experiences. He will be one right before Christmas and thus begins talk of Santa, followed by the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and so on. I first thought about it while pregnant, and suddenly developed a feeling on these creatures that I hadn't put much thought into before. Essentially it feels like lying, I know it is "tradition" and fantasy, imagination, and the like, but I can't help but feel like its lying.
I remember when I first realised that Santa wasn't the wonderful old jolly man that I believed him to be providing me with many presents a year as I was such a good girl. We were at my Mama's apartment in Dallas, I got into position for the night to slip into sleep on the floor, as I lay there fighting sleep with excitement of what Santa would bring in the morning I hear my half brother say something to our Dad about going to bring the presents in from the car, my interest was perked and my mind could not believe what it was processing. My parents had been imposing for years as the jolly old man coming down the chimney, they were eating the cookies I had so carefully put out! Ah the deception! I soon concluded that they may just be the masterminds behind other such characters I had never met in person. I waited an entire year before revealing that I was onto them, I was terrified. What if they were upset with me for knowing, or I suddenly wouldn't get as many presents because now Santa wouldn't visit, my teeth might no longer hold value if a mythical fairy didn't need to sneak into my room while I slept and swap out cash for my tooth. It was the first truly awkward conversation I remember having with them, it was looking back the first time I truly felt separated from them.
It is for these reasons along with others that Alex and I are planning on not playing up the hype of these characters, we'll let him know who they are, what other people might be talking about but that they are for fun, made up and not to seriously worry about a chubby man coming into our house on Christmas Eve. Most people we've spoken to about it seem to not have put much thought into it and have simply followed the cultural norms of sharing these stories. Though that isn't quite our thing. People say how here crushing his imagination, though I'm not too worried about that, I have an imagination that is probably too active for my own good, and Alex isn't lacking in that department either. We speak in made up voices and dream up alternate worlds, Henry has a tee pee in the corner of his room to crawl into with books, toys or whatever and hide away from the greater world. We will travel, experience and dream and believe. But what I don't want is for him to feel separate from us, that we are hiding something from him or ever would, he is one of us, part of the team and along for the ride of this crazy life with us.
I'm interested to hear other peoples opinions on this, and if anyone has tried this with their children or been a child who was raised in this manor, and what experiences have been.
Monday, 30 June 2014
Monday, 23 June 2014
Aspen... alternate world
As we approach our second year of living in Aspen, I'm not sure it's become any more "normal." It truly is a bubble, one that warps your perspective of so much of the outside world. What is a reasonable price to pay for anything? What does an "average" person look like, how does most of the world live? And, what's legal, what's not?
As I sit at this cafe drinking my coffee, the coffee shop just down from me has a double sided sign which reads: side 1: put some pep in your Prada wearing step. side 2: Coffee the second most preferred stimulant in Aspen. What is number 1 you might wonder.... cocaine. Not that it's legal here, but there is a blind eye turned to it, it is a glamorous drug after all. Not too many poor people adopt it as habit. We live in a state that has now made marijuana legal (which I fully agree with, make it legal, tax it and make a profit... people who are high are just getting fat, and being lazy, they aren't really hurting anyone). There are no open container laws, you can even have it on a bus, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who is overweight, poor, uneducated, much ethnicity (96.1% white as of 2012), or decently well travelled. The majority of the people here eat only organic, locally sourced food if not vegetarian or vegan, are democratic for the most part (during the last presidential election the republican headquarters was egged twice by young "unruly" locals). People don't lock their doors, tend to trust everyone, let their dogs roam free and party hard. We have festivals for everything, each season brings it's own annual traditions, it is truly the biggest small town you will find. Some how we have moved to some weird little blip in America.
It's all fine for a bit, though I don't want Henry growing up not knowing there is more out there, not knowing that there is pain and suffering, people who struggle to purchase food to feed their family, people of other colours and religions, different ways of thinking living and behaving. He has to see the absolute wonderful beauty in diversity and the differences in people. We plan to travel, and often if we do stay here well into his teenage years, push him to experience the broader world, and understand that all of this is not "normal."
We also live in a county that has alarmingly high suicide rates. It is often said that if you can't be happy here, you can' the happy anywhere. Though there is so much pressure here to be so much, and there truly is a great divide between the locals, the semi-locals and the visitors, even the visitors at different times of the year. Living here I know when the prices drop on the hotel stays, that is when people come to see Aspen, who couldn't afford to in the peak seasons. There are the semi-locals, where this is one of their 3,4,5 + houses. They often like to say they live here when you ask them, though most full time residents aren't as.. we'll say flashy or dismissive. Those who do live here year round, they are laid back, comfortable, as likely to show up to an event in head to toe yoga wear (likely lululemon) as they are in their Dior dress.
It is a truly unique area, evolving into a parody of it's self possibly to it's own detriment but only time will truly tell. Constantly trying to prove to no one other than the others here that it is something to be reckoned with.
As I sit at this cafe drinking my coffee, the coffee shop just down from me has a double sided sign which reads: side 1: put some pep in your Prada wearing step. side 2: Coffee the second most preferred stimulant in Aspen. What is number 1 you might wonder.... cocaine. Not that it's legal here, but there is a blind eye turned to it, it is a glamorous drug after all. Not too many poor people adopt it as habit. We live in a state that has now made marijuana legal (which I fully agree with, make it legal, tax it and make a profit... people who are high are just getting fat, and being lazy, they aren't really hurting anyone). There are no open container laws, you can even have it on a bus, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who is overweight, poor, uneducated, much ethnicity (96.1% white as of 2012), or decently well travelled. The majority of the people here eat only organic, locally sourced food if not vegetarian or vegan, are democratic for the most part (during the last presidential election the republican headquarters was egged twice by young "unruly" locals). People don't lock their doors, tend to trust everyone, let their dogs roam free and party hard. We have festivals for everything, each season brings it's own annual traditions, it is truly the biggest small town you will find. Some how we have moved to some weird little blip in America.
It's all fine for a bit, though I don't want Henry growing up not knowing there is more out there, not knowing that there is pain and suffering, people who struggle to purchase food to feed their family, people of other colours and religions, different ways of thinking living and behaving. He has to see the absolute wonderful beauty in diversity and the differences in people. We plan to travel, and often if we do stay here well into his teenage years, push him to experience the broader world, and understand that all of this is not "normal."
We also live in a county that has alarmingly high suicide rates. It is often said that if you can't be happy here, you can' the happy anywhere. Though there is so much pressure here to be so much, and there truly is a great divide between the locals, the semi-locals and the visitors, even the visitors at different times of the year. Living here I know when the prices drop on the hotel stays, that is when people come to see Aspen, who couldn't afford to in the peak seasons. There are the semi-locals, where this is one of their 3,4,5 + houses. They often like to say they live here when you ask them, though most full time residents aren't as.. we'll say flashy or dismissive. Those who do live here year round, they are laid back, comfortable, as likely to show up to an event in head to toe yoga wear (likely lululemon) as they are in their Dior dress.
It is a truly unique area, evolving into a parody of it's self possibly to it's own detriment but only time will truly tell. Constantly trying to prove to no one other than the others here that it is something to be reckoned with.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)