The power of Education...

Something that so many of us take for granted but is quite possibly one of the most valuable things in life, I am feeling a bit romantic at the moment, so I will dare to say only behind Love, passion, and a few of those other "fluffy" motivational type things. I am forever grateful for the education I have been provided with, not only University and post-graduate, though I am more thankful for these by many measures of the imagination. I enjoyed my early years of development at school, though like all kids, I had my rough times of teasing and wondering what spot I would be picked for the recess kick-ball game. As I was sitting on the train tonight on my way home, I began to realize in ways how my education has saved my life, and other ways that it really doesn't seem to make a difference. The main ways that these two come into play are flying and eating. This might not make sense to many, like I am sure a lot of my thoughts. Though... in this little head of mine it does. You see, I am not sure where, or when it happened for sure, some time around the middle school years, but something clicked and I went from the child who was not afraid to fly and had done it time after time to being so anti-flight that I missed a family vacation to Niagara Falls (I opted to stay in Oklahoma with family for some crazy reason) as well as force my mother into taking an amtrak train from Missouri to New York City, a journey that took the better part of several days. It was a fun trip, don't get me wrong, there was a lot of bonding, a large bag filled only with coloring books, dolls, games, etc... Regardless of the amount of education I have, the studies and evidence all point to the extreme safety of plane travel, I know that I am so much more likely to become injured or worse in my every day life, on the tube, walking down the street, so on and so on, but there is just some missing link where I cannot allow the greater knowledge I have received via so many mediums to penetrate into my thick scull and my nervous beating heart, and my anxious body when it comes time to close that cabin door and prepare for lift off. I currently have to holidays booked which involve air travel and a minimum of three more in the near booking future (ease of travel is one of the major perks to living in London). And at times the mere thought of walking down the gang way makes my body tingle in flight or fight mode (I usually tend to go with flight, and am ready to take off running... not flying!)

Though the opposite is said to be true of my education in another way, in a way, that I know has made my life much better, happier, stronger and quite possibly saved it. That is when it comes to eating. I like many girls, have struggled with the difficulties of a number of issues with food. Though I don't know the true route of these I do have estaminets and probably route causes, but that is not what I am writing about now. It is not something I think that I am fully over, and may possibly never been free of (though I am not sure how many women or people for that matter are in some way or another). I want to write about how the education of the extreme harm not giving my body proteins and nutrients would do to me, and my quality of life over the years. A lot of health problems come with being too thin, just as they do with being obese. Obviously if I were to have to choose, I would go with the thinner, but luckily I get to choose healthy, fit, and active. If it hadn't clicked and I wasn't able to put forth the education that I had received in this situation I would probably be in a far worse position, but that is not the case. I know the harmful effects, and am able to look to the future and know what I really want in life... and sleeping my life away while my body deteriorates is not one of them. I am beyond grateful for nutrition classes and the shock value of what things become when they go too far. Similar to drugs, I am grateful to know the full effects before I am so overly addicted, in over my head that I lose control of my life to forces other than myself. I don't know why my education allows itself to click in one area, but not the other, but I won't question it either, simply hope and pray that the wonders of physics clicks a bit more and soon to help my life out a little. 

Entitlement

Ah, Entitlement... what a loaded word. Though that is the only thing that springs to mind when time after time I see people receiving things, great things, good things... not really earned or deserved and not being grateful. I am so over it, I am sure (Actually... no, I know for certain) that I have had this attitude before and honestly, it disgusts me. I am not saying you need to be overly, obnoxiously grateful for each and everything, but realize how great it is that you have it, and gracefully accept gifts from people. I find myself being so grateful for everything these days! I do not think I have ever been so glad to receive the smallest thing in my life, I am sure  a lot of it is to do with the position I am now in, in life. We are fine, we are not suffering or starving, but it is so wonderful to receive someones generosity. For my birthday one of my dearest friends from home made such a difference in my day, my week, and close to my year (she sure helped my 27th year get started much, much better. Upon moving in to my new flat, before I got the key actually, I found a small parcel waiting for me. It contained, a cookbook of cupcakes (one of our favorite things to make together, some English pounds to go buy myself a few cupcakes (which I have yet to do, though I have the money set aside for just that!) along with a specific cupcake vendor that she has heard good things about, and a wonderfully sweet card. I am certain that she has no idea what a difference that made to me, but it did. To be so separated from family and friends and to feel that warmth of someone thinking and caring for me made such a huge difference. I am so tired of providing incentives and gifts at work (not only my current work but others in the past) and people simply not being grateful, people being apathetic or complaining about their receipt. I just want to shout at them sometimes, that they are receiving it... for doing their JOB! It is really nothing more than what they should be doing anyway, but they are receiving incentive. I think it is a lot to do with age, perceptive and standing. And I am sure, very much to do with how you were raised, I know I still find myself trying to learn when someone owes me something and when they do not. My parents, the wonderful parents they are spoiled me and wanted so much for everything to be wonderful and perfect in my world. To this point, when something would go wrong, someone my have hurt me or done me wrong or things just hadn't worked out... I was compensated, be that via a new toy, a treat, clothing... etc. I find myself now, when getting screwed over by say... a letting agent (Which I feel has happened semi- a lot lately, I feel as though they owe me something. Where in the real world, the sad truth is that they don't. There is no judge or governing body that is going to make someone whom I deem incompetent of doing their job purchase a cupcake for me or what have you, that is just not the real world. And as I do prefer my little dream world, where I am the center for it, that simply just isn't life, and it really isn't that much fun in the grand scheme of things.
So, now I am growing up, and the odd desire to need to have a budget, and to need to be concerned with money, and save and plan and organize, has come to fruition. We are grateful for things, I hope everything. I know much more appreciative of the chocolates and cookery we have received in the past few days from a family member visiting from Australia. I have become  more organized, more diligent, more concerned with getting the most out of everything, and having that everything be something organic, recycle-able, and good for both myself and my world!  I value random bits that people give me be it a soda, or a  bottle of dishwashing soap (though I guess I have not outgrown my picky nature that I am the most grateful if it is my selected kind... organic but not overpriced! :) ) I hope I continue to realize my fortune and everyone realizes how blessed they are and what a gift we each have in real life.

Traditions

I often wonder a lot about cultures, being that London is by far the most diverse city I have ever and will ever live. There is someone from every possible make up that you pass daily, if not work with. I wonder why people come here, what keeps them here, what their lives are like in their home countries. Is this life harder or easier for them? What about their living conditions are they as nice as they were accustomed to at home, worse, or on par? I have never realized how different growing up in the different cultures are, and never felt as though my up bringing, my overall pretty normal, average American years were so vastly different that so many others. There are simple things, every day things, that I took as the norm. and they weren't so for many many people. Not always in a sense of being fortunate or spoiled (which I know I was as well) but in the general aspect of culture. Things like holiday traditions, rite-of-passages, and thought processes are so specific to my culture, my nation and my experience. It is often that people seem to gasp at things I take to be normal. This might sound weird, as it seems odd to me sitting here typing it out... but things like Dying Easter eggs, Easter baskets, Trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins, Friday night football games, Cheerleading, prom... and the list goes on and on. Admit it (American people) ever once, did you think it was something special, something out of the ordinary to do any of those things? To partake in these were not any odd occurrence, they were everyday occurrences. Some of the concepts seem so odd to so many people, including my husband. And sadly he has been at the brunt of trying to figure them out with streams of tears coming through my eyes uttering bits of random holiday traditions that I have realized do not exist outside of the bubble of the USA. There was the great shedding of tears before we had left Missouri upon the great fear of not being able to locate a pumpkin patch in London... like the ever so wonderful husband he is, Alex comforted me and rushed to the computer to show multiple places that we would be able to buy a pumpkin. Then there is the more recent frustration with not being able to find my traditional Easter accompaniments. After breaking through the mumbles and the tears with this one, he finally got to the brunt of it and was baffled to what it was that was causing these tears, then we had to go over what I was actually mumbling on about... and I quote, "What exactly is an Easter Basket?" It has since been explained, he has been shown examples, but it still baffles me a bit that these are not things every kid grew up with. Here is wishing everyone a happy holiday season, regardless of your traditions, what you think of as normal and what you are celebrating. I hope you have all your desires and expectations met.

Thinking

I think a lot these days I realize, not that I always haven't.... but I find myself thinking about my thinking more. I Think of it in terms of writing, in terms of analyzing, in terms of sharing it. I have been told before that I think about things that others don't, I don't know if this is necessarily true, though I know for certain not all people think in the same patters and capacities. Lately one thing I find myself thinking on close to a daily basis, I want to find a way to study the statistics between the people whom continue to walk (or the left siders) against those whom stand on the right side. You see... I think there could be some severe differences between these two groups. My estimate is that there are several direct correlations between income levels and education levels possibly even happiness in life and stress as well as I am sure many others that I do not recall at the moment. Though I am sure the largest correlations would have something to do with if they were at work that day or not, if they were on holiday or living there. But, just say you separated those people into smaller groups, so everyone working was together and then you compared the people going to and from work whom were walking with those standing, as well as those whom were off with one another... then, that is where you might really make some ground. Like I said, who knows why I think these things, especially being that I am no longer directly in the fields of psychology or sociology but I do still find them quite interesting obviously.

moving and growing up

We have officially moved house, I will leave here in a few minutes to return to the old flat to pick up the last few remainders. We are in love with the new flat, let alone the area, quite possibly, the best place in London (at least in my semi-biased opinion). We now live in an area called Crouch end... it is all things lovely, small boutiques, quaint shops, antiques, modern, great locally owned everything. It is all together void of most chains baring of course, Starbucks, and Costa, the major banks, and the grocery line up of Tesco, Budgens, and our beloved Waitrose. To be fair we did base much of our moving location choice to proximity with waitrose. Being that I am unable to afford to and don't live close enough to purchase all my grocery needs from Fortnum and Mason (Though I would probably be striking from the at the moment anyway, at least until they decide to join their competitors and stop selling fois gras... If you don't know what it is... check out this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foie_gras_controversy. Wow, I was so discussed when I found out about this!) Anyway... the area here is absolutely lovely, there is a trail that begins moments from our doorstep that leads around the entire city, it is called the capital ring and is just that, I don't know how far it is all around, though I do know that not far from where I join it, to Richmond (a very nice borough south of the river) is 26.2 miles! We have taken the path to high gate, another area, and Baxter and I ventured a while on it again today. He is making improvements on his walking, but still is unsure how to meet other dogs. He kind of stands there, then begins to jump up on them. Once they sniff his bum to realize he is not a girl... ready to meet a boy, they move on and he seems devastated that they don't want to be his friend. You see... Baxter believes that everyone wants to be his friend! And why shouldn't they, he has licks to go around to the world! My little boy is also going through the puppy teething process, it is the most bizarre thing, the old ones are falling out (I stepped on one today) and new ones, sharper in my opinion if that is possible, are growing in. He has been a bit more snugly, docile and not having as much of an appetite, but the Vet warned it would come. We have now settled down into the new flat for the most part, a bit of paperwork tabs to pick up on but we are at home here, both in and out of the flat in this area. We finally feel settled... this is our London!

Missouri kind of rain

London gets a lot of rain, this is not new news to anyone, but it still leaves me reaching and longing for that amazing, strong kind of Missouri rain. It might sounds crazy, that is if you haven't experienced it, or shall I say if you have experienced it but not the lack there of. I never thought I would miss it when I was there. It is madness to drive in, a pain to even go to the shop in, let alone trying to walk somewhere. It is simply defined, the clouds parting and allowing buckets of water be dumped upon the Earth's citizens. I am sure that Missouri is not the only place to experience such a wonderful blessing of massive out pours of rain at once, though it is the place that is in my memory and in my heart. I can see the puddles of water collecting around the sides of the road off Republic Road, the intersection at National seeping into the driving lanes. The sound of each drop pinging onto your roof, watching the huge droplets collect and join in unity to increase their strength as they roll down your windows.
One of my favorite memories is from shortly after Alex's arrival to Missouri. We had been laying out at the pool and could see that the dark sky was heading our way. Decided to literally pack in the towel and head in, we hurried up to the apartment grabbed some money and began on our way to the grocery store. We had barely gotten into the car when the drops came, and they were huge. First it was just a few, but after less than a minute they were beating down in numbers to great to count. We made our way to the desired store gathered our raincoat and umbrella lacking selves (though I am quite confidant neither would have been of help) and ran into the store. A puddle along the way captured my sandal leaving me to struggle to regain my stride. Once in the store, we could not do much more than laugh at our state, we looked like drowned rats. Alex just looked at me and asked if his recent experience was normal. I couldn't help but smile and let him know, it was. It's not everyday that we had this out pour of water, but it was not the first time by any stretch of the imagination. We made our way through the isles of the store, only to take our chances again with a dart out to the car once more. Made our way home, past the flooding intersection of National and Republic Road and made it home to change and wring out our clothing.
In London, it rains a lot, but it is like a wimpy rain. A lot of people compare it to Seattle. Both have bits of rain often, some say daily but it isn't "Rain" proper "Rain." And sometimes, you just need that.
When I was much younger I remember a married friend of mine, a mentor if you will,  telling me that she thought if her husband ever died she could see herself moving to Seattle, there she said the sky would cry every day for her so she wouldn't have to. Not only do I not see this woman being the Seattle type at all, but I am here to say, it simply wouldn't do. It would not give the relief needed. That kind of rain is passionless rain, it is lacking a kick an umph, something that can't be described but only felt deep in your soul. It would not cry for you, and could not, because it would not do you or your loved ones justice. It doesn't even give my heart justice for pains much less than that felt.
With this said, I miss passionate, driven, determined rain that evokes the absolute need to put on sweats, curl up in a blanket, light some candles and throw on your favorite movie. Where there is no point or hope to doing much outside (for at least an hour or two) and you realize you are fully at the will of the great mother nature.